Someone once said to me, "We aren't here to search for happiness, but rather to follow our joy". Well, that sounds lovely, but what's the difference?
Happiness is defined as feelings of contentment and pleasure. Similarly, joy is described as feelings of pleasure and also encompasses feelings of happiness. Not a huge distinction and kind of confusing! Sounds to me like happiness comes right along with joy, like a package-deal, and since I want both my eye is on joy! My interpretation is happiness comes from something external from me, be that a new house, new car, new job, etc. Where joy is internal, not needing to be sought but merely acknowledged.
What sticks out to me the most in what my friend said is the difference between "search" and "follow". Searching means I am looking outside of me for the feeling or solution. While following means the feeling or solution is already within me and is leading me to what I desire. I just have to acknowledge it is there. By the way, I am not preaching to you. I am not perfect, nor do I have a PhD in life. I am on a journey, just like you. Perhaps my journey will make yours less painful and maybe take half the time! I have walked this path, so no need for anyone to go it alone.
Be present.
Lao Tzu said it best, "If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present".
Be in today. Be in the moment. Be present in your day-to-day life. If I'm spending my time living in the past, bogged down by failed relationships, lost friends, loss of a crappy job, or more negativity, joy cannot meet me there. Similarly, if I am in anxiety about the future, "what will happen", "what will I do", "what will I say", "how will I manage", etc., there is no room for joy. When I'm in depression or anxiety, I wouldn't know joy if it knocked on the front door! I have to live in today, so joy can meet me right where I am, in the present moment. I am at peace in the present and can feel joy, where I am blind to it when I'm in a depressed or anxious state of mind.
There are a lot of things that bring me joy, too many to list here and bore you with. To name a few, of course my children and family, appreciating the beauty all around me and taking pictures, writing and sharing of myself and my story, and inspiring others to be authentic as a means to finding true happiness. Or should I say joy? Ha! I am an accountant by trade, and I don't think we accountants are known for our creative output. Accounting is black and white with little room for creative thinking or interpretation (not that's any fun, anyway!). My creative side was brimming with ideas and needed an outlet.
I wanted to create something beautiful and thoughtful, using my life and experiences as a guide, to help others overcome their own challenges. I created Real Cute, Stacey as a creative outlet for myself that hopefully resonates with people in a way they find comforting, positive and uplifting. Real Cute has been a dream of mine for quite some time and putting it in motion has brought me tremendous joy, even more than I anticipated. Watching this idea grow, even if ever so slightly, has encouraged me to keep going and shown me I'm on the right path. The point is, I didn't have to "search" for the feeling of happiness or fulfillment. I simply had to look inward to see the idea was already within me, needing only to be brought to the surface and refined, in order to create something meaningful to me that I wanted to share with others.
When in doubt, get into gratitude!
Nobody wants to hear this when they feel stuck or are going through a challenging time in their life, however, I believe it needs to be said. I hear it all the time, and I firmly believe, happiness is a choice we can make every day. Circumstances be damned. The walls may be closing in on us, but it is up to us to decide to live in gratitude for all that we do have.
I always suggest getting back to basics and making a gratitude list. A life filled with gratitude is inevitably a happier one. What are you grateful for? What do you appreciate about your life, right now, just as it is? Each morning, make a list of ten things you're grateful for. This process reminds you of the blessings you already have and changes your mindset from "I am not whole" to "I am blessed". Our minds are powerful tools that can be rewired from negative thinking to positive thoughts with daily affirmations and meditation.
Take it next level!
If you really want to kick it up a notch, throw some positive affirmations into your morning routine, and see the veil of negativity lift and be replaced with a positive attitude and a deep love for yourself and your journey. It's not going to come to you by osmosis. You have to want it, choose it, and act. Don't know what a positive affirmation is? They are statements you make to yourself every day which improve your outlook on the day ahead and remind you of your own personal strengths and power. For example, "I am strong", "I am capable", "All that I need is already within me", etc. You can search for affirmations online, or you can create your own, specific to you and your situation. We are all different, and heal differently, so make your affirmations fit where you are in your journey. Ensure the affirmations are meaningful to you and your process of healing.
Joy comes in many forms and is different for everyone. Some of my greatest joy comes from accepting myself as I am, flaws and all, and embracing my authentic self, free to live the life that was meant for me. This is a journey I don't think will ever be complete. Discovering myself and my unique gifts will be an unending journey, I suspect. The more I know and understand myself, the better I am able to help others and fulfill my purpose. I try to remember that I don't have to search, I just have to look inside myself, and the answers will be revealed.
I hope you continue on your journey to finding your joy, and that it brings you tremendous happiness along the way. Whenever you feel lost or stuck find your way back to gratitude. For when we appreciate the little things, the big things are just icing on the cake.
Pure joy! ♥️